Tattoos and New Ideas

I have a tattoo, which I love. I got it when I was twenty to forever remind me how many wonderful people and how much love I have in my life. When I have bad days, or if life ever gets bad, it's there to remind me the many reasons I have to be joyful.

Ever since I got my first tattoo, I have wanted another. I just don't know what yet.

I've thought for awhile of getting a tattoo to claim/reclaim my body. I spend so much time fighting my health problems. The ableism in society and my mind tells me that my body is junk. (I admit I am not thrilled about the whole constant pain thing, but the disableist thought that disabled bodies are less worthy than abled bodies is prejudiced crap.)

But I realized something last night. Part of the reason I wanted that tattoo was to say, my body is beautiful despite all this. "See here, this beautiful tattoo, proving my body is beautiful." (I am talking beauty as in, conceptual body, like a person as a whole is beautiful. I don't actually have high self esteem regarding body image.)

And I don't need that. I don't need beautiful art to prove that in spite of my health, I am a good person. I am a beautiful person (I hope) not despite my disability, but including my disability. My disability is a part of me, the beautiful person that I aim to be. And I don't want a tattoo that had that internalized ableism in it, that "in spite of my disability I am a beautiful person." I want to be a beautiful person, and have my disability be part of that.

So I guess I will keep thinking of new tattoo ideas. And I don't have the money to get another tattoo right now anyway, so thinking is a good place to be.