Sunday, April 4, 2010

Worried about work

One of my big worries is what I am going to do with my life once I finish university. I have the normal university student worries, about finding a job and being happy, but I am also worried about what my health will mean for work. Right now I only work a couple hours a week and then a summer job. Right now I am very lucky to be on my father's health insurance and to have my family cover my health care. But I don't know what the future holds.

Even if I find a job, I am worried about whether it will include enough insurance and enough money to afford my medication and health care. Right now, I take a minimum of three medications and one vitamin a day. And it is rare that I only take these. I have a lot of "as needed" medications as well. I need these to keep my migraines enough in control that I can get out of bed, turn on the light, go to classes, etc. I doubt I could hold down a job without my medications.

Even with all these medications, my migraines still impair my daily life. I am frequently unable to drive, often miss class, sometimes get basically stuck in bed for two or three days, etc. The trouble with driving may make it hard to get to jobs, but that's not my main worry. Why hire me when there are other people searching for jobs who probably wouldn't miss so much work? And who probably don't have as many days where their brains have trouble functioning? I work extra hard to make up for the time I "miss" because of my health, I'm smart, and I'm passionate, but I'm worried that is not what employers will see. And if I do get hired, would I be able to keep the job?

I have a still have a little while before I try to enter the full-time work world, but how that world and my health will interact is something that keeps me up at night.


  1. I can't even imagine trying to look for work when you have health problems like you do. Worrying about the cost of doctors and meds are real problems. I hope things do work out for you.

  2. I'm a fellow migraine sufferer and can really relate to some of these fears. I hope you are able to find your place.

  3. "I work extra hard to make up for the time I "miss" because of my health, I'm smart, and I'm passionate, but I'm worried that is not what employers will see. And if I do get hired, would I be able to keep the job?"

    My thoughts exactly, in fact I wrote a very similar post for my entry for the blog carnival! I worry that since my condition is very unpredictable, an employer will see ME as unreliable.

    It's really unfortunate and unfair that we have to worry about those things. I'm trying to just thing about it one day at a time, but it's so hard when you want to dream about the future!

  4. It keeps me up at night too.

    Missed reading your blog Assiya :)

  5. I have proof it keeps me up at night... see, here I am, up, at 4 in the morning. I have a browser full of potential jobs and internships because I should be graduating in August, but I still don't know what type of work I'm physically able to do. It's daunting, trying to figure out a future with this disease creeping up on you, but I have to breathe and take it one day at a time and just trust that the answers will come as long as I continue down the right path.

    I know that's totally vague and unhelpful, but I'm trying to calm my own fears too. Good luck, Assiya, sorry I haven't been over here in awhile!


  6. Thanks Robyn. That actually did really help! :) Good luck to both of us!

  7. I wish I had been able to participate int he blog carnival...I just wasn't feeling good enough to be on the ball at that time.

    Speaking from experience...I really thought my life was going to change when I graduated with my BS in Psychology. This was of course before I knew I had fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I was even in process of a masters degree when I found out. I've become so frustrated that I've stopped my masters degree. As I have little hope for my future at the moment. I'm working in therapy to work through this, because I don't want to be completely held back from accomplishing what I want from life. But now that I'm pretty sure a degree isn't going to make a difference on if I can work a job or not...I have to refocus. What WILL I do now? I've defined myself so long with my education and my goals for a career. Does fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue mean I won't have a career ever? or will it just be different. I filed for disability not being able to answer that question. Thanks for the great blog post, I just want you to know that you are not alone in this worry...I'm living it now that I'm finished with my degree.
    -Jen (ModeratelyInconclusive)